I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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