Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
