I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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