Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
