i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just found puke in my bra..
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
