Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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