who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
