You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
