I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
