cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Randomize
