Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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