Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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