so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
