I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
