this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
