He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
