i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
