so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
