I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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