uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just found a bag of teeth...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
