tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
This is my gift to your gina
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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