I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I currently don't understand fingers.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
