I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
