**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
