so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
