Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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