The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
