omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
