Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
How does it feel to date your dad?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
