I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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