Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
