My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
