I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
try to milk me bitch
Randomize