I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
