just tell him i said nine months
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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