So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
