Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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