So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
