I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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