so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
