I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
