sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
