oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
it's like iHOP with fire
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Randomize
