You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
