Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Houston, we have a blender
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
