I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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