just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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