Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
