This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
