i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You pole danced in your parka.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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