He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
